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Monday, May 15, 2006

The Sky Is Falling…NOT

Filed under: | BS Patrol

That is what truthout would have you believe. Word spread like wildfire (as most rumors do) that Karl Rove was indicted last Friday on charges of perjury and lying to the Feds. If that were the case, then why isn’t the MSM jumping all over the story?
Nope, didn’t happen. I wrote on some other boards telling the liberal members to wait until Drudge speaks up. And he has, by calling it bulls**t. This brings to mind the words of James Tiberius Kirk from The Wrath of Khan:

“Still. Old. Friend! You’ve managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you KEEP MISSING the TARGET!

That large THUNK! you just heard is another lead balloon dropping.

HAT TIP: The Sandbox

Friday, April 28, 2006

And Another Thing…

Filed under: | BS Patrol

I’ve lost track of the number of e-mails I’ve received from liberal friends who advocate a (whoop de freakin’ do!) one-day boycott of ExxonMobil for their so-called “insane” profits. Actually, I do hope those who sent me these e-mails are reading this; I simply file them in the Trash.
This is because Econ 101 is in effect (and always has been)...one company doth not a boycott make. One week the e-mail advocates boycotting ExxonMobil, the next week it’s BPAmoco, followed by ConocoPhillips, and don’t forget everyone’s favorite target from the 1970s, Shell. In other words, you have to boycott them all at the same time in order to send any sort of economic message.
Vilmar, the Right Wing Howler, has a spot-on summary of the bulls**t campaign from those who don’t know better.

Monday, April 24, 2006

John Lennon: From The Other Side

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Hmmm…every Saturday night, KFYI airs a program titled “The Other Side,” where host Steve Godfrey channels communications from the dead. One question which turned this show into pure bulls**t was Godfrey’s denial to a viewer’s question as to whether any of the “signals” received are from Hell. Yo dude…if there is a Heaven, then there sure is a Hell too!
Now, someone has claimed to have channelled John Lennon. If you want to find out what the Dead Beatle has to say, cough up ten bucks, courtesy of the same folks who attempted to channel the late Princess Diana (and for some strange reason I seem to remember actually watching that special), which means Godfrey’s off the hook:

The program features what is described as an Electronic Voice Phenomenon, or EVP, that a psychic on the show claims is the disembodied voice of Lennon speaking at a seance in one of his favorite New York restaurants, La Fortuna.
EVP is based on a belief that spirit voices communicate through radio and TV broadcast signals.

I guess I would have to pay attention to this effort if Lennon’s “spirit” told us, the living, the following about the War on Terror: “All I am saying is Give War A Chance!” Otherwise it’s going to be pure bulls**t, and I don’t have to repeat what P.T. Barnum said about people.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Be-All, End-All Panacea?

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Here’s an interesting e-mail I received just now…of course, the junk mail filters worked properly and into the junk folder it went!

From:  (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Subject: Mobile production units for developing countries
Date: April 22, 2006 1:38:13 PM MST
To:  Macker
Reply-To:  (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Small and Mobile Production (SMP) to resolve giant problem in developing regions

SMP developed a revolutionary production method that is self-contained, immediate, portable, competitive, accessible because it is so cost-effective and transportable by any means whatsoever: by land, sea, railroad or air with more than hundreds Small and Mobile Production systems. From a technological standpoint, it is an incontrovertible fact that this system is aimed at solving very serious problems, starting with that which is most basic: the survival of millions of human beings.

The SMP is the only system in the world that can provide up to six of the most essential products for basic sustenance for just one dollar per day. SMP will supply to countries and developing regions the technology and necessary support for these Small and Mobile Units.

If you are interested in being a partner in your country or region, you can send your CV to: SMP (click here) SMP Partners Program to: Marcia Anderson, Project Manager.

If you received this in error or would like to be removed from our list, please return us indicating: remove or un-subscribe in subject field, Thanks. The Development News, Editor
© 2006 THE DEVELOPMENT NEWS. All rights reserved.

What the hell have these people been smoking? Have they been hitting the bong during Star Trek or what? If that doesn’t sound like a replicator, I don’t know what does!

Friday, March 31, 2006

Army to Soldiers: Don’t Buy Armor

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Yes folks, I’m up early…and it didn’t take me long at all to find this little gem.
I have to wonder why the Army is directing its forces not to purchase their own body armor, especially since they are having problems delivering said body armor to their soldiers. Is it because the non-standard Dragon Skin® armor which is popular with some Soldiers, lost a bidding war to the Interceptor, falling victim to the military’s “Not Invented Here” syndrome?
Or is it the Army screwed up with not getting enough body armor to its forces in the field quickly enough? I don’t know.
I would like to invite any military readers out there to comment and provide some insight into this decision, whether it’s good or bad for the Soldiers, testing procedures, etc., that kind of stuff.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Strange Requirement for Health Benefits

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Here’s a requirement which will surprise (or possibly offend) some employees who work at the University of Florida with domestic partners, either straight or GLBT:
To receive health care benefits, you must prove you’re having sex!

University of Florida employees have to pledge that they’re having sex with their domestic partners before qualifying for benefits under a new health care plan at the university.
The partners of homosexual and heterosexual employees are eligible for coverage under UF’s plan, which will take effect in February. The enrollment process began this month, and some employees have expressed concern about an affidavit that requires a pledge of sexual activity.
Fielding questions about the pledge at a Faculty Senate meeting Thursday, UF’s vice president of human resources said he’s heard concerns about the affidavit, though overall feedback about the plan has been positive.
“I would say 95 percent of the affidavit is fine,” Kyle Cavanaugh said in an interview after the meeting.
In addition to declaring joint financial obligations, prospective enrollees must “have been in a non-platonic relationship for the preceding 12 months,” according to the affidavit.
Marylou Behnke, a UF senator, told Cavanaugh she found the requirement “offensive.”

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! And how enforceable is this affidavit? I can see some couples submittine photo and/or video proof to the health care provider or to UF itself. UGH! This could also act as a disincentive for domestic couples (again, let me stress, either straight or otherwise!) to seek benefits.
And I’ll bet the folks over at FSU will be yukkin’ this up!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Pamela Anderson Wants Bust Taken Down

Filed under: | BS Patrol

NO, not her bust…the bust she wants taken down is that of KFC founder Colonel Harlan Sanders. Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher’s reply? NOT!

“Colonel Sanders was one of Kentucky’s most distinguished citizens, a great entrepreneur and a fine charitable man of faith, and he certainly has a place in Kentucky history. We believe he warrants appropriate recognition as such,” Fletcher spokeswoman Jodi Whitaker said.

Ms. Anderson, take your artificially-enhanced bustline, and your PETA friends and go elsewhere. Quit forcing your vegan views on the rest of us! You forget that we vote with our dollars so I’m going to KFC today. Since you don’t like that, too bad so sad!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Mail-Order Bride Agencies Go Belly Up?

Filed under: | BS Patrol

They just might when this provision takes effect, slipped into the bowels of the Violence Against Women Act which President Bush signed recently. And that’s something Congress has always been good at.
I know of one guy who’s planning on marrying a bride from Russia (and he knows who he is). For some reason which I can’t talk him out of, he’s going there to live with her! Had the provisions of the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (part of the VAWA), he would have had to provide the following information to whatever foreign agency he may have been working with before he could even correspond with her:

— Every state of residence since the age of 18;
— Current or previous marriages as well as how and when they terminated;
— Information on children under 18;
— Any arrest or conviction related to controlled substances, alcohol or prostitution, making no distinction on arrests not leading to conviction;
— Any court orders, including temporary restraining orders, which are notoriously easy to procure;
— Any arrest or conviction for crimes ranging from “homicide” to “child neglect”;
— Any arrest or conviction for “similar activity in violation of Federal, State or local criminal law” without specifying what “similar” means.

Let’s see, it’s legal to marry someone from overseas…it’s legal to correspond with them beforehand, but now you have to provide a foreign agency with all your police records? That’s bulls**t, because this law is an overreaction to two mail-order brides who were murdered once they got here. JUST TWO! Yet another application of assumption of guilt until proof of innocence.
For all we know, that information these men provide could end up in the hands of the UN! How obligatory of us to give our future assailants the knife with which to slit our throats. I’m glad I’m not marrying someone from overseas anytime soon.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

It’s About Time

Filed under: | BS Patrol

It was only a matter of time until some politician challenged their state legislature’s black caucus:

Tennessee Rep. Stacy Campfield may seem an unlikely candidate for his state’s black caucus. But the white Republican said he wants to join the group to serve a segment of his constituency better.
But Campfield’s membership to the caucus was rejected and the state representative says it’s because of the color of his skin.
“Only blacks can become full members — full and equal members,” Campfield said. “I think that’s the definition of racism.”

See, it’s OK to have a Miss Black America but not a Miss White America. This is just as racist as the Ku Klux Klan. So tell me, who’s more responsible for perpetrating racism in America?

Friday, October 07, 2005

I Don’t Believe This…

Filed under: | BS Patrol

..and neither should you! The Nobel Peace Prize for 2005 has gone to…get this!...the IAEA and its director, Mohammed ElBaradei. To top it off, it’s an anniversary year for the peace activists anyway:

The 1995 and 1985 prizes went to ban-the-bomb campaigners, and many experts expected the Nobel committee to also commemorate the 1945 bombing this year.

So they’re merely keeping track, is that right? “OK, it’s 2005, time to give the anti-war movement their due!” A lot of good that will do down the road when the Islamofascist jihadists go for their throats.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Texas-Sized Bogus Indictment

Filed under: | BS Patrol

So Representative Thomas DeLay (R-TX), the House Majority Leader, has been accused of campaign finance conspiracy, and has stepped down to fight the charges…well guess what! The Democrats did the same thing. And it is LEGAL! From Stephen Spruiell’s Media Blog on NRO:

The indictment centers around a money swap that took place between the Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (TRMPAC), to which DeLay has ties, and the Republican National State Elections Committee (RNSEC). TRMPAC sent $190,000 to RNSEC, and RNSEC then sent the same total amount in seven checks ranging from $20,000 to $40,000 to Texas House candidates in 2002. Travis County DA Ronnie Earle, a Democrat, calls this money laundering, because the money that TRMPAC sent to RNSEC came from corporations, which are barred from contributing to campaigns in Texas.
What you won’t hear in the press is that A) This is a perfectly legal move, and B) the Democrats did the exact same thing. An Institute on Money in State Politics study reveals that on Oct. 31, 2002, the Texas Democratic Party did the same thing when it sent $75,000 to the Democratic National Committee (DNC) and received $75,000 back from the DNC the very same day.

DA Ronnie Earle has investigated other politicians on both sides of the aisle. He indicted Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson in 1994 for records tampering and official misconduct, but Earle did not pursue the case and dropped the charges before trial. Once it’s known that the Dems also “laundered” their campaign finances like the Republicans, I envision charges against DeLay to be dropped as well.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

McCain Wastes Taxpayer Dollars

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Thank you, Senator John McCain (RINO-AZ) for meeting with Cindy Sheehan and wasting my Tax Dollars! First, Senator McCain obviously didn’t verify that whoever Ms. Sheehan said was an Arizona constituent, really lived there. They say things that can’t be altered by the other, and the so-called “peace mom” stomps her feet afterwards and says:

“He is a warmonger, and I’m not. I believe this war is not keeping America safer.”

Of course you’re not a warmonger…you’re a mediawhore-monger! You are driven by nothing but anger and hatred. Keep going and you won’t only have to leave your committed appearances early on a regular basis…you’ll end up in the damn loony bin!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

al-Reuters Stretching For News

Filed under: | BS Patrol

The European press agency must be getting pretty hard up for finding something…anything...to take down President Bush. Why else would they publish photos of the President scribbling a note asking for a bathroom break while at the UN Security Council? Guess they don’t want McChimpyBusHitler to exert any semblance of humanity, do they?
Thank goodness they didn’t take a photo of the guy actually taking a leak.

Friday, September 09, 2005

How Dare They!

Filed under: | BS Patrol

Now comes word of a deliberately stupid design for the Flight 93 National Memorial...the “Crescent of Embrace.” Lizardoid zombie did some quick Photoshopping and sure enough, it’s almost a carbon copy of the Muslim symbol!
This s**t isn’t supposed to be a holy ground for the damn Muslims who hijacked the plane…it’s supposed to be OUR memorial to those who lost their lives fighting back against those bastards!
If you’re as pissed off as I am, you know what to do.

HAT TIP: Little Green Footballs

Here’s what I wrote:

To Whom It May Concern:
I cannot believe that you would allow such a disgraceful symbol which represents the 9/11 hijackers to memorialize those who gave their lives fighting back against those very same people!
I am hoping that your site will be flooded with complaints similar to mine. I also hope that you will consider rethinking that design in light of this. Thank you.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Greed Kills Golden Goose

Filed under: | BS Patrol

I don’t get it.
Two music companies are now bitching at Steve Jobs because the iTunes Music Store holds a pretty good lead in the worldwide legal music download industry. They want to charge variable pricing (this story is from the Saddam NY Times, Registration Required) so that we pay $1.49 for a download of some popular slut named Britney Spears (who’s currently In The Family Way), or “substantially less than $0.99” for a golden oldie…and of course the record companies get to decide what constitutes a golden oldie!
And the two companies? Warner Music Group and Sony BMG Music Entertainment…ah! the same company that was recently involved in a payola scandal!
Don’t these record “executives” (I put that in quotation marks because what they probably do all day is drink some hard liquor, receive hummers from voracious interns, and laugh their a** off at the people who buy the s**t which supposedly passes for “music” these days) understand that at least they’re getting some form of revenue from iTunes, whereas before iTunes came along they were getting absolutely NOTHING, thanks to the old Napster?
I say to them that this is Total BS! Do they really want to risk the entire market being pulled out from underneath them? I hope Steve gets a campaign going to save the 99-cent download, because I’ll be one of the first to sign up!


UPDATE: And I just thought up how the boycott can proceed. Perhaps someone (not me, I’m no programmer!) could write a plug-in for both platforms which modifies iTunes to include specific companies with each song. That way we know which songs to avoid downloading!



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