“You...do not understand...but you will.”
Kosh Naranek, Babylon 5

Lately I’ve been finding a lot of my friends, who are my age, are going through the death throes of their marriages, and they are turning to me (of all people) for advice.
They mostly ask, “What’s it like? Do you get over it?” I have to tell them that each individual will recover differently, and I also tell them that it took me a very long time for me to recover, because for many years I was bitter about the whole experience and I wrongfully imparted that bitterness on other relationships (both romantic and otherwise). It took me a long time...and the move to AZ...to begin to recover. Now I can tell people “Yes, this happened, it was fifteen years ago, I made mistakes along the way that I wish I hadn’t made. I still hurt from it, but please let me go on.”
One thing I haven’t told them yet is this (well, they’ll see it now!): they must forgive their spouses, NOW, before they go through their divorces if that is what they choose to do. They had their families, they made their mistakes, but they are still human beings and unless that spouse has done something truly despicable (what I mean by this is something far worse than adultery or “irreconcilable differences"), then they must not deny their spouses the ability to continue loving relationships with their children. This is what my ex did to me, and it has hurt me terribly.
And then, let the former spouse go on. And then after that, THEY themselves must go on.